Food, glorious food!

It has been a weird couple of food days, y'all (though, let's be real, it's been a weird two months of food, to some extent), so in keeping with that trend, today's post will be alllll about eating in the Philippines.

Now, you may or may not have noticed that there are very few Filipino restaurants in the US/Europe in general. There are Filipinos EVERYWHERE, but there are no Filipino resturants. What gives? Well, Filipino food in general has components of foods that derive from influencing countries. There are Indian influences, Thai influences, some Spanish (as former colonizers), and a LOTTTTT of American (as former not-colonizers-but-kind-of-colonizers).

Filipino meals consist of a meat in some kind of sauce with rice. Always, always, ALWAYS rice. It's too much rice for me -- when I ask for "half-rice" portions at local food joints, people always give me a scandalized look. Rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (but not usually during snack time). There are a few different sauces that accompany the meat -- the most well-known of which is adobo. I don't know how to describe it; it's kind of like a teriyaki? It's brown and sweet.

And that's the other thing about Filipino food: EVERYTHING is sweet. Y'all, there is so much sugar here. I'm not kidding when I say EVERYTHING, either -- Filipino spaghetti sauce is literally sweet (with sugar added) spaghetti sauce. A lot of meats (especially ground meats, like sausages) have sugar in them. It's not uncommon to sprinkle sugar on top of your spaghetti. (I mean, I don't do that, but lots of people here do.) White bread is sweet, peanut butter is sweetened (I have never felt so betrayed in my LIFE as when I realized I'd bought sweet peanut butter. UGH.), chips are sugary. Kettle corn is easier to find than savory popcorn.

Meats tend to be pretty familiar: chicken, LOTS of pork (pork everywhere), occasionally some beef which is often actually water buffalo. Two days ago I almost ordered goat for lunch. There's also a lot a LOT of fish and squid and octopus, since this IS an island country. I actually really like squid, but my major problem with fish is the bones: it is IMPOSSIBLE to eat without chomping down on millions of bones. I feel like I'm working out my mouth every time I choose fish for dinner.

That's another thing that shouldn't have surprised me but totally did about living in the Philippines: there is very minimal food processing here. Like, when you buy a chicken at the market, the lady that chops it up for me probably LITERALLY carted that chicken to the market that morning, chopped its little head off, and plucked all the feathers off. There is no "boneless skinless chicken breast" -- it's risk it for a biscuit, and pray that you don't chip a tooth biting down on a bone you didn't realize was under all that meat.  (This may gross some of y'all out. Sorry not sorry.) Also did y'all know that chickens have HAIR on their little chicken-y skins? Chalk that up to another gross, ignorant-Stephanie discovery -- sorry if that's weird, but I literally did not know that until I moved here. I've never been this close to chickens that were still alive; usually they're all already in nugget form by the time I get to them.

Vegetables are a thing but are not really that popular. There are onions in a lot of things (gross, I know), and often carrots. But green veggies, like spinach and lettuce? Not so much. They're expensive at the market because not many people grow them, but not many people LIKE them because they aren't a traditional part of the diet. Cabbage is a thing, but cabbage is bleh.

Fruit stall in the grocery store. Some of the selection looks familiar, but rambutans (those green-y red ones just off-center to the right) are a spiky fruit I had never seen before. They're kind of like lychees but kind of not?

Something I found in the store today that cracked me UP. That is syrup, and the company that makes it is called "American Maid" -- and the design is literally just an American flag. I wonder if they know about Canada?

This is one of the stalls at the market by the port. Sorry, the shot sucks, but it's REALLY hard to take a picture without a thousand multicabs/pedicabs/people in the way.

This is the "snack" we had yesterday (if you followed me on Instagram you'd know that already). That's pancit, which is noodles with meat and some veggies, on a slice of white bread. Carbs on carbs on carbs. You fold that bread around the pancit and chomp away. Apparently you can do this with spaghetti, too? Still not sure if this a real thing or a joke they were playing on me.

More quickish, fun facts about food here in the Philippines:

• Chopped pigs' ears are a food, called sisig, as I discovered last week after consuming it for ALMOST TWO MONTHS.
• One of the local delicacies here is balut. Do NOT google image it unless you haven't eaten recently, because balut is fermented, unborn chick in the shell. NO I have not eaten one, though I have seen them in the market, and I do not intend to.
• I grocery shop in the market, generally, though I do get staples like pasta and peanut butter in a big chain grocery store. The cheapest, freshest fruits and veggies are in the big market down by the port, so that's where I get potatoes, avocados, pineapples, coconut, carrots, and whatever else I need to cook for the week. 
• I usually try to buy meat from one or two specific stores that have the best quality (not about to risk THAT), but fish is always best straight from the fish market right when all the ships have just come in (so right about 5pm). It smells like what I imagine a dumpster in hell smells like, but the selection is good. You should have SEEN my face the first time someone turned around with a big-ass, live fish and put it in my face. NOPE.
• I still have no idea how to de-scale/filet/prepare fish so I have yet to actually BUY any fish. 
• There are McDonalds' here. And Dunkin Donuts all over the place, which was totally weird, and there are KFCs. I even saw a Cinnabon once. I guess it's just strange to see all of these American fast food chains here -- what's even stranger is that going to these places is a treat/privilege. I have seen quite a few birthday parties going down in McD's here.
• THE CHEESE SITUATION. I can't believe it took me this many bullet points to say that THERE IS LIKE ALMOST NO CHEESE HERE. And what there is is either super expensive or reeeeally gross. For example: Cheez Whiz? That one American cheese-in-a-can invention you wish we'd never come up with? Totally a thing here. They love it. It even comes in squeezy pouches. I'm a little nauseous just writing about it.
• Regular ketchup is not really a thing; they have BANANA KETCHUP everywhere, though, which I have yet to try because I am morally opposed to it but I've heard is just sweet ketchup.
• Buying something at the bakeshop is another experience altogether. With a few things, you can tell what's in them based on what they look like. With others, like little rolls, it's kind of hit-or-miss. I've gotten a roll, bitten into it and found purple goo (called ube, it's a sweet goo made from a root crop), peanut butter, crushed nuts that I don't know the word for but were NOT delicious, green goo (also not sure what this was), and cheez whiz. So you're kind of taking your own life into your hands with that one.
• I have eaten carabao (water buffalo) twice, and it was delicious.
• Pizza is definitely a thing here, but the cheese is not great and they have some ODD combinations. There is one that's really popular right now in Tac that's "American style" which is literally just corned beef on a cheese pizza. Not really sure how to break the news about that one not being a real thing in America.
• Someone asked me last week if all Americans spray whipped cream from cans into their mouths all the time. This is hilarious to me, because a) WHY is that an American stereotype? and b) THAT is the American food thing that's stuck in your mind the most??
• I have not had fresh coconut milk/water/whatever yet -- it's a little hard to find, and I don't own a machete to chop it open with anyway (and even if I did, me + machete or shop object is kind of a recipe for disaster anyway).

Okay, that's all I can think of for now. This food experience has been interesting, that's for sure. (Someone, please, mail me cheese! And a copy of The Cursed Child! I can't believe JKR published a new Harry Potter thing while I'm out of the US. How RUDE).

Is anybody reading this, by the way? Do you have questions? Specific things you want me to explain/talk about? I have a few topics planned, but if you've got anything in particular you want to know, leave a comment. I'm going on vacation -- aka to a few different islands -- this coming week, so my next post will probably be about that.