Things I Learned While Scuba Diving

Wow, I just realized it's been a ridiculously long time since my last update. Apologies, y'all -- I've been having some adventures (and some typical Stephanie traumas). I DO still owe you all some pictures/background on my vacation two weeks ago, but as my more recent adventures are fresher in my mind, I'll start with this past weekend instead.

So. For some reason that's not clear to me, the Philippines had a holiday yesterday (on Monday), which meant that we didn't have to work. Because I'm not often given three day weekends, and because I worry that I'm not taking full advantage of the fact that I LIVE IN THE PHILIPPINES, I decided to go on an impromptu adventure to the south of Leyte (the island that I live on), to Padre Burgos, which I've heard has AMAZING coral reefs for snorkeling and scuba diving, as well as gorgeous beaches. And yeah, I'd say that's pretty accurate.

I went to Padre Burgos on Saturday morning, via public transport -- which could be a blog post in and of itself. Suffice it to say, on the ride back home on Monday, at least no one was holding a chicken. This ride consisted of a three hour van ride to Sogod through some gorgeous parts of the island, including a ride over the tallest bridge in the Philippines, Agas Agas Bridge (pictured below).

Credit: Ronald Tagra -- this is not mine, I stole it off the internet

Once I got to Sogod, I kind of wandered around the bus terminal asking people how to get to Padre Burgos (which mostly consisted of me making confused faces and repeating "Padre Burgos?" in an increasingly frantic voice as I panicked about getting lost). Some kind souls took pity on me and pointed the right bus out to me. I rode for a little over an hour (for 50 pesos, or ~$1.08) until I got to the resort where I was staying. [Take the word "resort" with a grain of salt -- I stayed in the cheapest room I could get with AC included.]

One of the major reasons for going to Padre Burgos in particular was for the scuba diving (though I was -- and remain, unfortunately due to time/money constraints -- NOT open water certified). The instructor happened to have the afternoon free, so we went ahead and did my quick overview of skills, and then a pool test before jumping into the sea that was quite LITERALLY out the door.

One small note: I only had ONE moment of panic during the pool test. I had to do various little tests to prove that I wouldn't freak out underwater and accidentally drown myself, including removing the breathing apparatus (the regulator) from my mouth and practicing blowing the water out of it, etc. etc. For some reason, the idea of taking my regulator out -- while in a POOL no less, like half a foot below the surface of the water -- was absolutely TERRIFYING at first. Luckily, I had a really awesome instructor -- Klaus, this 50-something German dude who literally spends his days training weirdos like me not to freak out -- who refused to let me panic (or just stick my head above the water), and I made it through.

Apparently I managed to play off the panic I'd felt in the pool enough that this guy actually let me go into the water, and let me tell y'all -- it was SO COOL.

So, without further ado, here are the things I learned while scuba diving.

1. I do not sink well.
When we went out, both the instructor and I put on weight belts, which are supposed to help you sink. Even having deflated my jacket all the way -- which you AREN'T supposed to do quickly, so you can acclimatize to the change in pressure -- I kind of bobbed awkwardly along with my face half-out of the water. My instructor even pulled me down by the ankle, but I slowly popped back up, laughing. I ended up having to have four extra weights just to weigh me down enough to stick around on the bottom of the sea floor.

2. EVERYTHING UNDERWATER LOOKS SO SQUISHY!
All I wanted to do while diving was SQUISH things! (Obviously, I didn't touch anything because that is no allowed.) There were puffy starfish!

Credit: John Childs -- again, not mine

There were squishable-looking corals -- look at that orange one on the left. UGH so squishy!

Credit: Link -- also not mine. Sorry, was too busy staring wildly around to take pictures

There were bright blue starfish all over the place.

Credit: Bronwen Lee

I just could not get over how squishable everything looks underwater. I've only ever seen coral that had been above the ocean's surface for some time (so, you know, dead coral). I didn't even KNOW starfish came in Stay-Pufft marshmallow form! If Hello Kitty had a starfish companion, that is absolutely what hers would look like.


3. Those schools of fish from Finding Nemo are REAL. Also, so are both Nemo and Dory.
This speaks for itself, no explanation needed. Unfortunately the schools did NOT form pictures, nor did they point me towards any sea turtles ( :( ) but they look like crazy, shiny, underwater clouds. Very cool.
Plus, you know, sea anemones with Nemo in them. Unclear if any of the Dorys have memory problems -- I didn't stick around long enough to ask.

4. There are certain things that someone who panics as often as I do should not do while underwater.
For example, roll over onto my back to see how far down I am (because seeing the shadow of a boat 10 meters above me was a little terrifying). Imagine a shark coming over the super dark ledge where the coastal shelf drops off. Think about how often I breathe and whether I'm breathing too fast or too slow or OH MY GOD I took a half second pause between breathing in and breathing out WAS THAT TOO LONG??? IS MY AIRWAY CONSTRICTING? Or any other number of things.
These are just examples of thoughts I could have had. Obviously I am always cool and collected and would never panic like this.

5. In all honesty, I'm probably safer underwater.
Less than 24 hours after my awesome scuba adventure, I managed to burn my leg on a motorbike exhaust pipe, get sunburned while snorkeling (WHO DOES THAT?!), and swim into a cloud of tiny, irritating jellyfish (I'm fine -- they weren't big enough to do anything other than be annoying).
Shout out to Anne and my parents for their recommendations re: my burn. Pretty sure at this point the leg won't fall off on its own, but I'll keep you updated.

All in all, though this was a quick down and back trip, I really enjoyed myself. I went by myself, which was kind of a bummer and also kind of explains the sunburn situation, but I learned a lot. I definitely want to try for my full open water diving certification as soon as I get a few consecutive days off again.

Here, have some more pictures (these are all mine) of the area:

The view outside the resort. This was literally steps away from my room.

My (kind of secluded) spot on Tangkaan Beach for snorkeling (post-burn, pre-jellyfish)

All kinds of coral, perfect for snorkeling.

Food, glorious food!

It has been a weird couple of food days, y'all (though, let's be real, it's been a weird two months of food, to some extent), so in keeping with that trend, today's post will be alllll about eating in the Philippines.

Now, you may or may not have noticed that there are very few Filipino restaurants in the US/Europe in general. There are Filipinos EVERYWHERE, but there are no Filipino resturants. What gives? Well, Filipino food in general has components of foods that derive from influencing countries. There are Indian influences, Thai influences, some Spanish (as former colonizers), and a LOTTTTT of American (as former not-colonizers-but-kind-of-colonizers).

Filipino meals consist of a meat in some kind of sauce with rice. Always, always, ALWAYS rice. It's too much rice for me -- when I ask for "half-rice" portions at local food joints, people always give me a scandalized look. Rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (but not usually during snack time). There are a few different sauces that accompany the meat -- the most well-known of which is adobo. I don't know how to describe it; it's kind of like a teriyaki? It's brown and sweet.

And that's the other thing about Filipino food: EVERYTHING is sweet. Y'all, there is so much sugar here. I'm not kidding when I say EVERYTHING, either -- Filipino spaghetti sauce is literally sweet (with sugar added) spaghetti sauce. A lot of meats (especially ground meats, like sausages) have sugar in them. It's not uncommon to sprinkle sugar on top of your spaghetti. (I mean, I don't do that, but lots of people here do.) White bread is sweet, peanut butter is sweetened (I have never felt so betrayed in my LIFE as when I realized I'd bought sweet peanut butter. UGH.), chips are sugary. Kettle corn is easier to find than savory popcorn.

Meats tend to be pretty familiar: chicken, LOTS of pork (pork everywhere), occasionally some beef which is often actually water buffalo. Two days ago I almost ordered goat for lunch. There's also a lot a LOT of fish and squid and octopus, since this IS an island country. I actually really like squid, but my major problem with fish is the bones: it is IMPOSSIBLE to eat without chomping down on millions of bones. I feel like I'm working out my mouth every time I choose fish for dinner.

That's another thing that shouldn't have surprised me but totally did about living in the Philippines: there is very minimal food processing here. Like, when you buy a chicken at the market, the lady that chops it up for me probably LITERALLY carted that chicken to the market that morning, chopped its little head off, and plucked all the feathers off. There is no "boneless skinless chicken breast" -- it's risk it for a biscuit, and pray that you don't chip a tooth biting down on a bone you didn't realize was under all that meat.  (This may gross some of y'all out. Sorry not sorry.) Also did y'all know that chickens have HAIR on their little chicken-y skins? Chalk that up to another gross, ignorant-Stephanie discovery -- sorry if that's weird, but I literally did not know that until I moved here. I've never been this close to chickens that were still alive; usually they're all already in nugget form by the time I get to them.

Vegetables are a thing but are not really that popular. There are onions in a lot of things (gross, I know), and often carrots. But green veggies, like spinach and lettuce? Not so much. They're expensive at the market because not many people grow them, but not many people LIKE them because they aren't a traditional part of the diet. Cabbage is a thing, but cabbage is bleh.

Fruit stall in the grocery store. Some of the selection looks familiar, but rambutans (those green-y red ones just off-center to the right) are a spiky fruit I had never seen before. They're kind of like lychees but kind of not?

Something I found in the store today that cracked me UP. That is syrup, and the company that makes it is called "American Maid" -- and the design is literally just an American flag. I wonder if they know about Canada?

This is one of the stalls at the market by the port. Sorry, the shot sucks, but it's REALLY hard to take a picture without a thousand multicabs/pedicabs/people in the way.

This is the "snack" we had yesterday (if you followed me on Instagram you'd know that already). That's pancit, which is noodles with meat and some veggies, on a slice of white bread. Carbs on carbs on carbs. You fold that bread around the pancit and chomp away. Apparently you can do this with spaghetti, too? Still not sure if this a real thing or a joke they were playing on me.

More quickish, fun facts about food here in the Philippines:

• Chopped pigs' ears are a food, called sisig, as I discovered last week after consuming it for ALMOST TWO MONTHS.
• One of the local delicacies here is balut. Do NOT google image it unless you haven't eaten recently, because balut is fermented, unborn chick in the shell. NO I have not eaten one, though I have seen them in the market, and I do not intend to.
• I grocery shop in the market, generally, though I do get staples like pasta and peanut butter in a big chain grocery store. The cheapest, freshest fruits and veggies are in the big market down by the port, so that's where I get potatoes, avocados, pineapples, coconut, carrots, and whatever else I need to cook for the week. 
• I usually try to buy meat from one or two specific stores that have the best quality (not about to risk THAT), but fish is always best straight from the fish market right when all the ships have just come in (so right about 5pm). It smells like what I imagine a dumpster in hell smells like, but the selection is good. You should have SEEN my face the first time someone turned around with a big-ass, live fish and put it in my face. NOPE.
• I still have no idea how to de-scale/filet/prepare fish so I have yet to actually BUY any fish. 
• There are McDonalds' here. And Dunkin Donuts all over the place, which was totally weird, and there are KFCs. I even saw a Cinnabon once. I guess it's just strange to see all of these American fast food chains here -- what's even stranger is that going to these places is a treat/privilege. I have seen quite a few birthday parties going down in McD's here.
• THE CHEESE SITUATION. I can't believe it took me this many bullet points to say that THERE IS LIKE ALMOST NO CHEESE HERE. And what there is is either super expensive or reeeeally gross. For example: Cheez Whiz? That one American cheese-in-a-can invention you wish we'd never come up with? Totally a thing here. They love it. It even comes in squeezy pouches. I'm a little nauseous just writing about it.
• Regular ketchup is not really a thing; they have BANANA KETCHUP everywhere, though, which I have yet to try because I am morally opposed to it but I've heard is just sweet ketchup.
• Buying something at the bakeshop is another experience altogether. With a few things, you can tell what's in them based on what they look like. With others, like little rolls, it's kind of hit-or-miss. I've gotten a roll, bitten into it and found purple goo (called ube, it's a sweet goo made from a root crop), peanut butter, crushed nuts that I don't know the word for but were NOT delicious, green goo (also not sure what this was), and cheez whiz. So you're kind of taking your own life into your hands with that one.
• I have eaten carabao (water buffalo) twice, and it was delicious.
• Pizza is definitely a thing here, but the cheese is not great and they have some ODD combinations. There is one that's really popular right now in Tac that's "American style" which is literally just corned beef on a cheese pizza. Not really sure how to break the news about that one not being a real thing in America.
• Someone asked me last week if all Americans spray whipped cream from cans into their mouths all the time. This is hilarious to me, because a) WHY is that an American stereotype? and b) THAT is the American food thing that's stuck in your mind the most??
• I have not had fresh coconut milk/water/whatever yet -- it's a little hard to find, and I don't own a machete to chop it open with anyway (and even if I did, me + machete or shop object is kind of a recipe for disaster anyway).

Okay, that's all I can think of for now. This food experience has been interesting, that's for sure. (Someone, please, mail me cheese! And a copy of The Cursed Child! I can't believe JKR published a new Harry Potter thing while I'm out of the US. How RUDE).

Is anybody reading this, by the way? Do you have questions? Specific things you want me to explain/talk about? I have a few topics planned, but if you've got anything in particular you want to know, leave a comment. I'm going on vacation -- aka to a few different islands -- this coming week, so my next post will probably be about that. 

Adventure Time: Sohoton Caves and Natural Bridge

Okay, I'm back. I would apologize for taking so long between posts again, but a) I like to build the antici........pation, and b) I have been busy. I promise I have other posts on the back burner for you all; it's just a matter of getting pictures to go along with them. And having an internet connection. And power. #filipinoproblems.


So, now that the boring part is over, let's move on to something more exciting! Like my recent (wow, okay, actually a month ago now) trip to Sohoton Caves and Natural Bridge. This is located outside of Basey, Samar, which is a small town located about 35 minutes by car away from Tacloban City.

We woke up at 6:30 to leave by 7 am and drove to Basey (well, we didn't drive because with my org expats aren't allowed to drive. So we had our driver take us), where we picked up fresh fruits and bread from the market before heading to the local tourist agency to meet up with a few people from another organization that works here in the Philippines. (THEY let expats drive cars....) At the tourist agency, we paid all of our fees -- for the boat, for the kayaks, for the tour, with an extra tax tacked on for foreigners. That's the way touristy things work here, which is kind of similar to some places in the US: locals get in cheaper.

It took us about another 20 minutes -- bouncing along over unpaved, rutted roads -- in the truck from Basey to the jump-off point, where I took this glorious photo of the green, green mountains from a bridge over the river we would sound be motoring along.

It looks just like Jurassic Park! (I said this to our Filipino friend and he thought it was HILARIOUS.)


Then we put on lifejackets, signed some waivers saying that if we fell into the river and floated away we wouldn't sue anyone, and boarded this tiny little rickety boat that seemed like it might sink if any more people got on. Fortunately, it was actually sturdier than it looked. Boats in the Philippines tend to have these bars over the sides that remind me of bumpers in a bowling alley, which help keep the boat from tipping over into the water (smart as hell when you were born without a sense of balance like me!). We motored along upriver for about 10 minutes, just kind of staring open-mouthed as we started seeing cliff walls coming straight out of the water.

Rock cliff!

More rock cliff, and the balance-y boat arm thing.

They had us get out of the boat (MUCH more stressful than actually getting ON the damn thing) and then led us up a path of steps carved out of the rock. We had to put on those helmets they make you wear in construction sites (very attractive, let me tell you) and took us into the caves. I don't have any pictures of the caves because... well, they're dark. Pictures would have looked horrible. I quickly found out why they make you wear the helmets -- when you're wandering around in near-darkness, it's a little hard to see stalactites until you walk into them.

The caves were cool. They had some really interesting rock formations, and even a little colony of bats just chilling on the roof in their little home. The coolest part was when they pulled us deep into the back and turned off all the flashlights: I have never been anywhere that dark before, and once they told everyone to stop talking, it was a SUPER crazy/creepy/interesting experience (well, I was mostly creeped out because you know how I feel about silence): it seriously felt like what I imagine deep space or a black hole feels like. You know, with air. And significantly less screaming, probably.

We spent about 45 minutes exploring the caves (read: walking into hidden stalactities) and then they took us back down to our kayaks.

I will spare you the details of the kayak struggle.

Suffice it to say that I am good at some things. Kayaking is apparently still not one of them.

After 20ish minutes that were supposed to take 15 of paddling upriver, and getting out of the boat to drag it around rocks, and almost losing my flip-flops not once but TWICE, we finally made it up to the natural bridge, and Y'ALL.

IT. WAS. SO. BIG.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

There is a secret staircase carved in the rock in this picture. See if you can find it!

This natural bridge is TALLER THAN TREES, YALL

Our guide let us chill there for a few, and we took the opportunity to swim around in shallow pools (I probably have schistosomiasis now. Ehhhh, worth it.) and one of the guys discovered that it was possible to body surf through the deeper, rapidly rushing water. I didn't take any pictures of my bruises, but let's just say that the water was deep ENOUGH but there were freakin' BOULDERS hidden in it that I didn't know I needed to avoid.

We finally headed back to the kayaks and paddled our way back to the cave site -- a significantly less difficult experience since it was down river -- where we ate a bunch of pineapple and weird spiky fruits I don't know the name of, and then we got on a boat and headed back to the first dock and our truck.

Awesome, awesome day.

I'm Alive, Y'all: Photos and Updates!

Helloooooo everyone, and blanket apology for not updating this blog in far, far too long. A lot has been going on -- I've spent a lot of time traveling to and from the different field offices, and some time without internet/power (and one brief night with no water... which was unfortunate and I wish someone would have informed me of the situation BEFORE I'd tried to take a shower).

SO! Here is my latest update: finally, a collection of photos! These ones are mostly from driving around to and from field offices, and some you may have seen on Facebook. I plan on updating you all on my recent trip to Sohoton Caves and Natural Bridge at some point; those photos will have to come later, though, because internet is fleeting and uploading pictures already takes an entire episode of Gilmore Girls.

Without further ado:

This is the view from the plane on my flight from Manila to Tacloban. Gorrrrrgeous!

On the road from one office to another. Those party streamers are for a Barangay Fiesta, which is an entirely different blogpost you will get soon. The dude there is driving a tricycle, or trike, which is the most common way to get around in the Philippines (and also one of the most hilarious). A post about those (and getting from place to place in general) is coming up as well.

One of the many (many, many, nauseatingly gorgeous, insane) views of the ocean and another island across the bay. Y'all -- these views kill me. They KILL ME. I spend at least 10 hours driving around these islands every week, going from place to place, and it is still absolutely gorgeous.

This is my home away from home, aka my bed (and mosquito netting) in the guest bedroom of one of the field offices. This room doesn't have AC, so I have to leave the windows open and turn the fan on, which is fine but leaves me vulnerable to getting eaten alive. The mosquito situation gets reeeeeaaaally bad when the power's out, because then there's not even a fan blowing over me to keep them off, so out comes the mosquito net. 

Bonus: in case one of the geckos hanging out on my ceiling falls, it won't land on my vulnerable, prone, innocent, soon-to-be-traumatized body. :)

Rice fields for days and days and days and days and a few more days. Usually you can see water buffaloes working in the rice fields. This one is near one of the places where my organization does field work.

The view from the Port of Tacloban City. You see that boat over to the left? I've ridden on a couple of them, and not ONCE (yet) have I fallen into the water -- those rail thingies on the side really do the trick of balancing for you.

This is one part of the view from the San Juanico Bridge, which is the longest bridge in the Philippines (about 2 miles). It's also, conveniently, the bridge that I have to cross to get from the island where our field offices are (Samar) to the island where Tacloban is located (Leyte), so I cross it about twice a week. This photo truly doesn't do it justice -- it is an INCREDIBLE view.

I also celebrated being in the Philippines for exactly a month on Tuesday, which I almost can't believe! I got a visa, so that's good because I've experienced being an illegal immigrant and I wasn't a big fan. And I thought I could give a quick rundown of some of the numbers of my experience so far:

• days in the Philippines: 32
• nights spent without power: 4
• kayaking trips: 1 (so far)
• pairs of Chacos forgotten in the US and lost forever: 1 :(
• unidentifiable meat products consumed: 8 (I only regretted 3, so that's pretty good odds)
• babies held: 1
• children who have screamed, "Hey! Americana!!" at me: 4803732832
• times I have been followed to my destination by a particularly enthusiastic group of children: 3
• words/expressions I know in Waray-Waray (the local language): 6
• Fiestas attended: 2
• paperwork I have reorganized into my preferred system: ALL OF IT
• times a frog or gecko has scared a shriek out of me: >20
• times I have braved the Filipino shopping mall (which was an experience in and of itself): 2
• mosquito bites: at LEAST 3000
• water buffalo encounters: 1 (this is a story for another day)
• hour-long massages: 1 (and it cost ~$7!!! inSANE!)
• sweaty, sweaty hikes up a nearby hill to see the view of Tacloban: 1
• jeepney rides: 7
• trike rides: approximately 1000
• unidentifiable baked goods/other foods consumed: ~30
• selfies strangers have taken with me: 2
• number of days I have gone without sweating at all: 1
• fresh (like, watched-them-pick-it-off-the-weird-ass-pineapple-plant fresh) pineapples eaten: 3
• islands visited: 3 (and counting)
• times I have growled about the internet going out: infinity
• bucket showers taken: ~10
• caves explored: 1
• pairs of shoes destroyed: 0 (which is probably like a personal record)

So that's all for this update, folks. Things are going really well here, and I'm finally starting to feel like I know what the hell is going on and what the hell I'm supposed to be doing every day, which is a really good feeling. I'm still learning a lot on a daily basis, about humanitarian work and the Philippines and just myself in general, but things are really really good here.

It has been a crazy week, y'all

Apologies, friends -- it has been a crazy, CRAZY week, and don't worry -- I'll tell you all about it. But there are several reasons why I haven't posted any blog updates, and it'll all become clear in the next few paragraphs. This is a long one, though, sorry!

First of all, I'm now in the field. I'm pretty sure my last post came to you from Tacloban, and I'm having a hard time believing I was even there long enough to post anything. I stayed in Tacloban for two nights (only one with a gecko), and then on the afternoon of the second day got a ride to the field. I went to an actual place with a name but I'm not allowed to give away any details specifically regarding locations, so that's all you'll get from me. [More pictures are coming, I promise; I just don't have a good enough internet connection to actually upload any while I'm here in the field.]



Anyways, I've been here, traveling back and forth between field offices, for the last week. I'm meeting with different people in the offices and getting to know the projects that my organization is currently working on basically by following people around and asking questions. It's all really cool information, and everyone is giving me loads of details and inside views into humanitarian work... but there are also a lot of meetings involved in which I have no idea what is going on.

NOW! As for all of the insanity of this past week, let me fill you in a bit.
First of all, I'm in a pretty secluded place (on an island), which means that there are power surges and the power goes out and comes back on like once every few days. Well LAST WEEK, the power went out in the middle of dinner on Thursday night (the place we were eating had an electric stove. Who would have an ELECTRIC STOVE that needs POWER TO WORK in a place with no reliable power, I ask you??), and did not return until Sunday night. We had a couple of brief flickers on Friday, and after a night of SWELTERING with no fans or anything, the head of the office here decided "Fuck it, we're using the generator." So we got some relief from the heat and the bugs during the day, until the generator ran out.

On Saturday, to escape the power-free zone (all of my electronics were dead and I'd already read the one paperback book I'd brought with me twice -- I have my Nook, okay?!! I thought I'd be safe! But it died), I went with my friend/coworker to the beach, to watch her take her weekly surfing lesson. I opted out of surf lessons, because I don't need to have any broken limbs/wounds on top of being sweaty.

So we went to the beach at 6:30 am, because the sun rises here RIDICULOUSLY early (like 5:15) and I the "curtains" I have block no light (so I wake up around 6 anyways because it's like being in the center of the sun). It took us about 30 minutes on a trike (basically a moped with a metal compartment/seat-contraption-y thing on the side that can hold up to 7 people. It's much safer than it sounds, I swear, and I will share pictures with you next time.

The drive was absolutely gorgeous, and the beach was beautifulllll, but it was already over 85* out so I immediately jumped in the water to cool off. But I forgot that I kind of hate the beach. And seaweed -- I HATE the feeling of seaweed brushing up against my legs. So I played in the water for a bit and got out, but it was too hot to not be in the water, so I would get back in and then get out when I got tired of getting pummeled by waves and repeat ad nauseum.

By 10:30 am I felt like I'd been baked, so I left my friend to enjoy the rest of her beach day/surf lessons and headed back to town. The power came on that night, and I slept with a fan on (HALLELUJAH!)

Then more insanity started. Gmail decided that I'd logged in from too many countries and my account must have been hacked (nope, it's just me!) and I got locked out. No gmail means no blogger so no blog updates, but it also means not being able to check my credit card bill or my student loan accounts or anything. Cue panic, as per usual. I managed to get back into my account just this morning (shout out to my sister, Audrey, for being a damn HERO and helping me out in the crisis).

I have also discovered, in the course of being in the Philippines for a few weeks, that EVERYTHING here in terms of skincare includes a "whitening" agent. I'm talking lotion, sunscreen, body wash, HAND SOAP. Everything. You have to hunt to find the ones that don't include it. So imagine my surprise when I got home two days ago from the store to realize the DEODORANT I'd just purchased included WHITENING agents. WHO NEEDS TO WHITEN THEIR ARMPITS????

In other news of ridiculous things that have happened in the last two days (bulleted because descriptive would take forever):

• gecko in the toilet so I can't even pee in my own bathroom
• electrical socket in my bedroom stopped working so I didn't have a fan (and I'd don't have air conditioning in my room)
• and the cleaning lady did laundry yesterday, and for some reason decided to mysteriously give back all of my clothes except my underwear. THAT was an experience, let me tell you.

I know that it sounds like I'm mostly whining, but it's not bad here! I'm really, really enjoying the experience, and there have been plenty of good things, too. For example:

• Today I only ate one thing I didn't know the name of/recognize (it was a donut with some violently purple goo inside. Apparently the purple goo is a root vegetable?? And the coloring is natural??)
• I have successfully learned how to take a bucket bath
• I can navigate from the guesthouse to the market and back (walking or with a trike, bonus points!) and buy things I need in the market
• I can say thank you in Waray (the local language) -- it's "Salamat!" in case you were wondering
• I have seen some GORGEOUS views (see pictures above and my instagram -- @scholzsl -- for more)
• The sun sets by 6 pm, which means it's perfectly acceptable to go to bed at 9pm (which is fine, because everything in town -- including the bars -- closes around 8:30 pm)
• I have friends! Or at least, I have people that tolerate me and eat dinner with me every night -- isn't that the same thing?

For real. Life is pretty good here in the Philippines. I miss you all dearly, but I'm learning a lot and having a good time. I will try to Skype (some of you. you know who you are) once I get back to working internet!

Back By Popular Demand

Aka everyone and their mother has been complaining telling me that I need to write a blog, so here it is.

Hello, friends! I am in the Philippines!

This has all kind of been a whirlwind adventure, so let me fill you in on how I ended up here. Three Fridays ago, I had a Skype interview for a job in Cambodia. That job didn't pan out. Two Mondays ago, I had a Skype interview for a job in the Philippines -- with the same organization. I got a call a few hours later saying that I had the job if I wanted it, but I had to be in Paris for training at HQ by the Monday after, meaning I had to fly out of DC on Saturday. I had five days to pack up my entire life and get the hell out of there.

So, of course, I did it, because why would I do anything the easy way?

Anyway, one week later I was wrapping up five days in Paris (though this time there were not nearly so many steps involved, though I did encounter several tiny elevators and a city-wide garbage strike) and on a plane to Abu Dhabi, UAE, where I hung out in the airport library for 8 hours waiting for my next plane to Manila, Philippines.

I am now in Tacloban City [pronounced tack-LO-bahn], in the Philippines, which will be my base for a while -- though, of course, there will be lots of travel in the area/country for work.

But work is not the real reason I started this blog, although it is important and I'm excited to be here.

I'm really writing this blog to keep you all informed of the ridiculous (read: typical) things that happen to me.

Let's start off with the gecko in my bedroom last night when I arrived. Pretty sure my neighbors thought someone was being murdered (or they would have if we had any), I shrieked so loud. My boss just kind of looked at me, like I was overreacting instead of at very real risk of possibly being mauled in my sleep (or at the very least suction-cupped when I least expect it).

OR we could discuss the small frog army that's gathering on the patch of grass in front of the guest house. Maybe I've always had an exaggerated mind's eye picture of frogs, but I swear to god they grow them extra large here in the Philippines: they all look ready to pounce at a moment's notice. I held my mouth closed so they couldn't jump down my throat and suffocate me as I sprinted for the door. (Unrelated side note: our driver thinks I'm insane. And probably also a big chicken. He may not be wrong on either count.)

For the moment, I'm exhausted (still not sure what time zone -- or even decade, really -- I'm in), so I'm going to pass out early. I'm 12 hours ahead of all of my East Coast friends, so if (when) you get messages or emails or FB notifications from me at an ungodly hour, just remember that it's already tomorrow here. :)